The Future Looks Bleak

The show went pretty well last night, adhering to its Save the Boobies theme. Although the news that Sula nebouxii had become endangered, or threatened, or moderately nervous, came as something of a shock to just about every—

Okay, so…looking now at the EMail I didn’t actually read hitherto, it’s starting to look like I may have misunderstood something about the theme. Which in retrospect could explain why everyone kept screaming at me to ‘put the dumb fucking penguins back in the car and get over here’ all night. It could even account for the nonplussed reaction to both the IMAX film on Galapagos and the PowerPoint presentation meant to predict changes to herd immunity throughout the Greater Ecuadorian Area.

You know what? Let’s not dwell on the past. It was an honest mistake—one which I think we can all agree could have been made by anyone.

Could so.

Sh’up.

But, about the tits….

Lophophanes cristatus — the crested tit; crested, in point of fact, by yours truly

Apparently, the theme was supposed to have been about breast cancer awareness. Which you should be aware of. Because it can strike at any time. And it often lures the young and the stupid with promises of candy or trips to see Santa Claus. And I really only skimmed the EMail; I’m kinda guessing here, a little.

Look: I’m tired, and I’m just not up to heavy research at the moment. Especially after all those weeks wasted on that stupid bird thing. I hope they all die.

Let’s move on….

I got the images up; you can see those here.

You may notice, while looking through them, that one guy—Mortimer P Snerd, of 1428 Elm—is constantly pixelated; that’s because he needs to stay anon—

Goddamnitsomuch.

Not Pictured: Mort

Anyway: you don’t get to see what Mort looks like, because his employer doesn’t get to see that he’s involved in a show about birds and tits and things. Oh, I assure you he is. In a large way. Mastermind, I tell you. But that’s a secret. Don’t tell anyone.

Also pixelated are an instance or two of an exposed pheasant. Because we’re Family Fucking Friendly here.

I’ll sext them to you. When it’s safe.

It seems like I was supposed to mention something else. It’s probably in the EMail.

I lost the damned EMail. Others showed up. Flocks of them. This could be a minute….

I think this is it. Howbout I just copypaste it:

Dear Sir:

Regarding the bottle of hydrocodone you received yesterday, it has come to our attention that a number of stickers applied by your pharmacist may have been misprinted to read ‘DO TAKE WITH ALCOHOL.’ In the event that your prescription contains such a notice, please disregard its instructions and instead DO *NOT* TAKE WITH ALCOHOL.

We regret any inconvenience this error may have caused.

See you next…erm…calendar thing….